


I Wanna Live (Not Just Survive)

by psychoinnocent



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, Birthright Spoilers, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Chrom!Inigo, M/M, Nightmares, not totally explicit violence but still pretty violent esp at the end, or if you don't care about spoilers idk, pls don't read if you haven't finished birthright???, pretty much follows BR canon, the xanlas isn't very explicit so if you aren't a fan it's pretty lowkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 19:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7587388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychoinnocent/pseuds/psychoinnocent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wherever life takes you, remember this: You are not simply my retainer... You are my cherished friend. I wish you only the best in what you choose to do with your life. And, come what may, I will never forget you."</p><p>X x X</p><p>Nohr may not be his home, but he'll be damned if he lets it fall without a fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wanna Live (Not Just Survive)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been stressing me out for weeks now but I'm finally finally done.
> 
> This fic is mostly snippets- snippets of moments from every chapter between Kamui's decision and chapter 26. 
> 
> My XanLas heart wanted me to explore their relationship more but damn Xander was Not cooperating while writing this so I guess I'll have to make it up with my bday fic for Inigo next month oops
> 
> also, small tidbit but might explain a line in this fic: Frederick is Gerome's dad and my HC is that Gerome becomes Inigo's retainer right before Awakening trio leave

_They say before you start a war_  
_You better know what you're fighting for_  
_Well baby, you are all that I adore_  
_If love is what you need, a soldier I will be_

x X x

_Inigo, promise you'll be safe._

_Come back home when you're done. Be smart. Make me proud son._

Laslow took a deep breath, readying his sword as the sound of battle began. He looked across the hall, meeting Peri's eyes.

She forced a smile, and with a sense of dread, Laslow smiled back.

X x X

Xander was stressed. He hadn't spoken a word since Hans had returned from the bottomless canyon.

Gunther was dead. Jakob was missing- presumably searching for Kamui. And Kamui herself had initially been reported dead… but.

"My lord, our spies have confirmed that the Hoshidans have Kamui in their capital. She appears unharmed, though she is surrounded at ever- Lord Xander! What are you-"

"Ready the horses, Laslow, and inform my siblings. I must speak with my father at once. Tell Peri to gather as many soldiers as possible, _quickly_."

"I- Yes, milord."

X x X

The look of betrayal on Xander's face when Kamui told him she wasn't returning to Nohr made Laslow feel ill.

It was the same look Lucina had given him years ago, when he had decided to stay behind with Gerome.

It was the same look his father had given Robin when he stabbed him.

Both times, everything worked out. But, gazing out at the sea of Hoshidan soldiers, unease rippled through his soul.

X x X

King Garon was a foul man. He held precious little love for his children, and a lust for war.

Laslow stood to the side, keeping his face smooth as the King scolded Xander for letting Kamui escape. He refused to listen to Xander's words, flinging insults and cruel taunts at the High Prince.

Peri was crying silently next to him, anger and disappointment evident in every line of her body. Xander had his head bent, his hands clenched at his side.

"Enough. Iago, summon Zola. The Hoshidans will undoubtedly take advantage of Izumo's neutrality law." The King's tactician looked annoyed at missing the show, but swept past the retainers with a disdainful sneer.

"Father, allow me to-"

" _No_." The force of his words made Xander fall to a knee, keeping his head bowed. "You have failed me already. Take your retainers and get out of my sight."

Xander stood and, with a glance towards Laslow and Peri, stiffly left the chamber. Laslow forced Peri into a shallow bow- his partner wasn't thinking clearly it seemed- and led her out of the room as Iago returned, a smaller mage following after him.

X x X

"Tell me, Laslow. What you think of my father?"

Laslow spun around, surprise evident as he looked at Xander. The Prince didn't look at him, looking out of the window next to his desk.

He stalled, unsure of where the question had come from. It'd been a few hours since Garon had sent them away, and Xander had scarcely said a word to him or Peri since.

"I… do not agree with many of his actions. He..." He said carefully, mindful of Xander's dedication to his father.

"Laslow, you may speak freely." With a weary sigh, Xander turned to look at him expectedly. Laslow sighed, nodding.

"He reminds me of my fa- of our Exalt's father, back home. His father did not agree with the other nation's beliefs, and became war-hungry. When he died, his daughter was hated for years, for the wrongs that he had caused." He closed his eyes, a bitter taste filling his mouth. "Forgive me for overstepping my boundaries, but I'd prefer it if you escaped her fate, milord."

"So you believe him to be an evil man?"

"I believe that there are better ways. If you'll excuse me, I promised to spar with Odin before the night was out."

"...Very well. Good night, Laslow."

"Good night."

X x X

"Lord Leo is taking us to Izumo as soon as dawn breaks." Odin said quietly, unease evident on his face. Selena grimaced, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

"Has something gone awry?" Laslow questioned, frowning as Odin shook his head.

"No… Iago says it is simply reconnaissance. He has little faith in Zola's abilities, if you ask me."

"Who does?" Selena scoffed, frowning as she looked down the shadowed hall they were in. "Lady Camilla says that Zola was only sent because he has the rare ability to create illusions. Tricks are his game."

Laslow forced a smile, shaking his dark thoughts away. "Come now, we should hope for the best- that Kamui will be captured before you all arrive in Izumo."

The dark look that Selena sent his way was well deserved.

X x X

Xander sighed, rubbing his temples before resting his elbows on his desk.

"Laslow. Peri."

"Milord?"

"Lord Xander?"

"Take a look at this." The prince gestured to his desk, and Laslow peered over, his eyes widening at the amount of information printed.

It was a map of Nohr and Hoshido, detailing the route the Hoshidans had been travelling. Their last known location- Izumo, heading towards Nestra.

"There is a performance my father goes to see every few months in Cyrkensia. Scouts have confirmed that they are heading towards the port, and are due to arrive the day of." Xander gestured to the map, tracing the path with his finger.

"What do you propose to do?" Laslow asked as Peri leaned over, curiousity in her eyes.

"My father extended an invitation to Elise and I to join him. Father sent Camilla to Cheve yesterday, in hopes of quelling the rebellion going on down there. Father isn't happy with Leo, due to Zola's incompetence in Izumo, but if we drive Kamui's army from Nestra, Cheve would be their next destination."

"So if we can't capture them in Nestra, Lady Camilla and Lord Leo will be able to ensnare her in Cheve?"

"Yes." Xander nodded before frowning at Peri's expression. "Peri?"

"...The rebellion concerns me." She admitted, none of her usual bloodlust in her expression. Laslow tilted his head curiously as she continued. "Lord Xander, I say we exterminate them instead of risking them uniting with the rebellion."

Xander shook his head as she spoke, picking up his quill to write a note on the map. "Camilla and Leo will be far more than enough to take care of any traitors in the village. I doubt any of the villagers unaligned with the rebellion will take up arms against their Princess."

Peri hesitated but nodded in agreement, and Xander turned towards Laslow.

"Do you have any qualms, Laslow?"

Xander's eyes had turned feverish as he spoke, and fear snagged Laslow's heart. Xander hadn't dealt with his father's disapproval well, but he wondered how the prince would react if Kamui proved slippery enough to escape.

"No, Lord Xander. None at all."

X x X

Nestra was beautiful. The serenity of the city reminded him of Ylisstol, after the war was over and Grima was dead.

Lady Elise was silent by her father's side as they arrived to the theater, sadness etched in her brow. Laslow noticed the concerned looks that Effie and Arthur shot her, and wondered if the young Princess knew about the ambush.

As the lights dimmed, a messenger slipped in, whispering quietly to the King that the Hoshidans had arrived.

X x X

"She's gotten stronger." Xander said softly as they awaited Kamui, watching the traitor fight from a distance.

Laslow only hummed, allowing himself to mimic the singer's gentle movements from before as he rallied.

Peri grinned, holding her Beast Killer loosely. "I see a kitsune in their midst, Lord Xander! Can I kill him if he gets close?"

"Kamui is mine. The others are fair game." Their prince nodded, and Laslow slowed his dance, letting himself sway to the sound of the water instead.

Despite his worry- Xander wasn't bloodthirsty, and yet so callously permitting them to kill? - Laslow couldn't help the smile that escaped him.

It was time to fight to protect the nation that had adopted him.

X x X

The girl before him was not a born fighter.

Laslow spun his sword, shaking his head. The girl looked nervous- her first bout perhaps? No- but perhaps it was her first time with the bow. She held her bow like a lance, so it was more likely that Kamui had offered her a new weapon and gave her no time to become adjusted.

Still, she took a deep breath before meeting his eyes, determination blazing in her own.

"Hey! Don't look at me like that!" Laslow called, shoving any pity he held away as he charged her. Her eyes widened and she ducked, fumbling with her quiver.

_Strike._

_Don't kill if you don't need to._

Laslow pulled back, allowing a spin to his retreat as she straightened, He smiled, and she flinched back as he sped back near her, his blade easily slitting open her shoulder.

To her credit, she merely stumbled back, her hand clasping her wound for only a moment before she stood again. With sudden ease, she pulled out an arrow, and Laslow only had a moment to barely avoid the arrow aimed at his head.

"You missed." He taunted, and she frowned, shaking her hair back. "If you back down, I'll let you live."

"Your mages killed my village. I- I refuse to stand down when I can fight!"

For a moment, Laslow was violently reminded of his mother. His strong, brave mother who sparred with her father every morning to improve her skills with the blade, who strived to get stronger to protect her son and daughter.

He clenched his sword and took a deep breath, smiling to himself. "I guess I should fight you fairly then. Tell me, my fair lady, what is your name?"

"...Mozu."

"Mozu then. I am Laslow, Prince Xander's retainer. I will be your opponent for today." He bowed deeply, and she hesitated before bowing in return.

"Now then…" Pleasantries out of the way, he hefted his sword. "Shall we commence?"

Her dark eyes met his, and she smiled in challenge. "We shall."

X x X

His sword was at her throat, her bow snapped and quiver scattered beyond her reach.

Laslow could kill her now- knock one member off the ever growing Hoshidan forces. But…

"If you're to kill me, do it now." Her body screamed defiance, but her eyes were wide, her hands balled up at her sides. One of the flowers that had been in her hair had been knocked askew, barely holding on her hair. She had cuts and nicks over her torso, and her heavy archer outfit was nearly falling off from the seams.

Not that Laslow was much better. His pauldron was useless against arrows, though his gambeson managed to block most of the arrows from piercing his skin. Still, his thigh was protesting any movement, blood staining his pants from where an arrow had lodged deeply inside.

"..." He sighed, letting the flat side of the blade rest against her throat for a moment before pulling away, sheathing it. "...You've lost. Go back to the remnants of your army."

The fighting was almost over, he could tell. Kamui and Xander were still fighting, though with every blow he could tell that the princess was weakening. Peri was across the hall, a feral grin on her face as she fought the kitsune.

If the pace kept up this way, perhaps they could win-

A white pegasus flew past, blue hair streaming in the air as the woman ducked arrows and grabbed Kamui's outstretched arm, pulling her on the winged beast as Xander attempted to stop her.

A pained shout caught his attention, and he saw Peri grab her shoulder, the thin shaft of the arrow barely visible from afar. One of the Princes was there, nocking a second arrow.

Forgetting the girl at his feet, he ran towards his partner, knowing in his heart that if the arrow struck true- and if the rumors were true, Prince Takumi's aim was rarely off- Peri would not survive the hour.

X x X

Peri leaned against him, her makeup smeared as she cursed angrily under her breath.

Lady Elise had healed Laslow's leg, but her staff was losing power and quickly- there were too many wounded and dead for her to heal.

Thankfully, she was able to heal the worse of Peri's injuries, though her side would be smarting for the next few days.

Lady Elise blew a strand of hair out of her face, turning to Xander with a weary look. "These guys are good. Are you _sure_ you don't need healing?"

Xander merely shook his head. "Not from _you_." The words were cold, and Laslow could see the hurt that flashed on the young princess' face.

"Fine! Be that way." She blinked back tears and strode out of the room, her shoulders shaking as she all but ran away from the door.

"...My Lord, must you be so cruel to her?"

"I understand her feelings, truly." Xander sighed, all but slumping down into a nearby chair. He rubbed his temple, looking forlorn. "However… Kamui has abandoned us and it will only cause her more pain if she doesn't accept it."

Peri shifted, tottering over to their lord. She fell to her knees next to him, resting a surprisingly gentle hand on Xander's leg.

"Laslow says that when you kill people, their loved ones feel the pain… But Kamui isn't dead. She just decided to leave, and left you to pick up the pieces. She hurt you… So next time we see her, we'll make her regret it."

X x X

  
_The moon was high in the sky, and the wind was whistling through the leaves._

_The earth trembled below his feet, and his home erupted into flames._

_Lucina appeared before him, her clothes tattered and burned, her tiara half melted into her darkened hair._

" _You left us behind."_

" _Traitor."_

X x X

Castle Krakenburg was a surprisingly welcome sight as they limped back. It had been almost a week since their fight with Kamui, and Laslow wasn't sure if he wanted to see how well his friends had fared.

"Laslow. Come to my chambers when you're free." Xander said quietly as the other soldiers scurried off their quarters. Peri had already stumbled off, telling her liege and partner that if they needed her they could suck it up for a day while she slept.

"Of course. I just wish to check and see if Odin or Selena have returned with news." Laslow offered him a smile, one that Xander did not return.

"I doubt it. Cheve has proved more difficult to claim than I had expected." Xander exhaled, and Laslow grimaced.

"Naga help them." He prayed quietly before nodding at his liege. "I'll return within the hour milord."

X x X

True to Xander's prediction, neither of his friends had returned from their fights. Indeed, the quarters for retainers felt empty without Odin's boisterous voice or Selena's complaints.

Still, with little to do, he entered his room, eyeing his bed with regret before changing into a clean uniform. He put his armor away, yawning as he worked.

If it wasn't for the fact that he knew he would sleep through the night if he took a nap, Laslow would have crawled into bed, Xander's orders be damned.

_Father always told me to listen to my liege's orders. Stupid you may be, but I take my father's word seriously._

Laslow shook off the familiar voice, stretching before heading back out to the hallways.

X x X

Xander was not a vulnerable man. He was strong, and brave, but hid his fears and concern behind an impassive mask.

Laslow couldn't help but feel a sense of strange pride in knowing that he was the only one who has seen the mask crumple, has seen this strong man fall to his knees and let out his hurt, his anger, his fears.

X x X

Selena and Odin arrived in the early evening the next night. Odin was unhurt, but Selena had refused to see a healer until they were reunited. With a scolding from both her friends, they took her straight to an unamused healer.

"Prince Ryouma was there, in hiding." She told Laslow, as the healer finished. "He and his army must've taken out the forces we had there beforehand- he had disguised himself well."

"Kamui's army moves fast- by the time we arrived in Cheve, the fighting was all but over." Odin sat next to Selena, sighing. "We had no choice but to let them go free."

Laslow crossed his arms, mind racing. Xander wouldn't be happy with this development, but it gave them a location…

"Were they still in Cheve when you left?" Selena sniffed in irritance, but nodded.

"Aye. We recovered the troops we could, but since the rebellion was so deep rooted…" Odin shrugged helplessly.

"I need to go." Laslow stood from his seat, startling his friends. "Undoubtedly, Lord Xander has heard from Lady Camilla and Lord Leo, but I need to look at his map again. If we can stop them- or hell, just divert them-"

"Go away Laslow." Selena snorted.

X x X

"Daniela will guard the border with her life- but if she fails…" Xander traced the border, pondering. Laslow stood on the other side, examining the Nohrian side of the border.

"If they get through the border…" Laslow pointed to a set of mountains. "What's here?"

"Mount Garou. They'd be fools to attempt to enter Nohr through Wolfskin territory-"

"Precisely."

Xander sent him a searching look, before shooting him a rare smile.

"A good plan. Where did you learn such a tactic?""

Laslow smiled wryly, thinking about his father's tactician with a flair for the dramatics. "Let's just say I had a good teacher."

X x X

"Iago fucked up. Twice. In a _row_. How do you even do that?" Odin flung himself on Laslow's bed, groaning in annoyance. Selena propped herself against the wall, shaking her head as Laslow sat at his desk with a sigh.

"He's a disappointment. I don't know why King Garon keeps him around." She shook her ponytails, an exasperated sigh leaving her lips.

"Iago's powerful, but he's a damned fool. Quite frankly, by the time this war is over I hope he ends up one of the casualties." Laslow mused, propping his head on his hand. Selena hummed in agreement, and Odin muttered quietly into Laslow's pillow.

X x X

It took Laslow a few days to notice that Xander and Lady Elise were rarely in the castle proper.

Neither of Lady Elise's retainers would tell him anything, but he contented himself with knowing that if _Effie_ wasn't worried, she was alright.

Xander on the other hand…

"Do you think he's out killing Hoshidans without us?" Peri mourned, following him as Laslow streaked through the castle.

"He better not be. He knows better than to worry us." He hissed, grabbing the passing banister and hauling himself up the staircase. "I swear to _Naga_ I'll sit on him next time he decides to disappear on us."

Peri was about to make a snarky comment before they heard yelling ahead.

"Lord Xander! Lord Xander's collapsed!"

X x X

According to the healers, Xander had a severe bout of overexertion. He had been training all day every day, with little rest in between.

"Frankly, he's fortunate that this all he's had. He hasn't torn anything or physically hurt himself- he's just exhausted. How did you two not catch this? You're his retainers!" The healer admonished them, frowning as the pair shrugged helplessly.

"This war has been taxing on him-"

"It's been taxing on us all." The healer softened, looking between them and sighing. "He needs bed rest and good food. I assume I can trust you two to take care of him from now on?"

"Of course!" Peri poked at Xander's cheek, a genuine smile appearing on her face as Xander twitched. "Wakey wakey Lord Xander! You need to go to your room and _sleep_."

X x X

Years ago, after their mother had died and left Ylisse on their shoulders, Inigo had buckled under the weight of the war.

Where Lucina had become devoted to communicate with Naga, Inigo took to the sword, desperation coloring his every move.

When he wasn't in the heart of Ylisstol, listening to their people's dissent, or in the war council, listening to the meager remainder of his father's army, he trained.

Owain and Lucina found him one night on his knees, a broken sword lying before him and an unhurt dummy taunting him.

X x X

Morale had been low since their loss in Cheve, but gloom seemed to permeate through the bricks of the castle and seep into the bones of its inhabitants after news that Xander had collapsed spread.

Selena reported quietly that Lady Camilla, who had slowly begun cutting herself off from any social contact, had said little more than two words to her since Cheve. Odin fared little better, claiming that Lord Leo had thrown himself into his tomes, pouring into the books as if they held the answers the Prince seeked.

X x X

Laslow groaned as he read the reports. Kamui's army was close, if the reports from the Macarath were accurate.

The Hoshidans had stayed there for a few nights, as one of their princes had fallen ill. None of its inhabitants dared resist- everyone was keenly aware that any who fought back were executed- but one of Niles' informants managed to send word of their next move.

"The Ice Tribe…" He sighed and gathered the papers, handing them back to the other retainer.

"Lord Leo says not to worry your pretty little head about it. One of their leaders is someone our dear Kamui knows quite well, and hopefully, she can keep a cool head through it all." Niles smirked, ignoring the look Laslow sent him.

"And if that doesn't stop them?"

"Worry not. Our dearly beloved Princess will find herself bound in chains by the end of this war."

X x X

Peri was a force to be reckoned with, if Xander's irritated expression and her smug smile was anything to go on. Laslow couldn't help but laugh, the stress from Niles' report fading away for the moment.

"I see Peri ensured your cooperation, Lord Xander?"

"I'm _fine_. I am not an invalid and there is too much work to be done for me to just sit here." The Prince ignored Peri, sitting up with, thankfully, minimal effort.

"The healer got mad at us last time so- so-" The cavalier sniffed, tears welling up in her eyes.

"We just want you healthy, my lord." Laslow cut in smoothly, leaning against the wall. "Besides, Peri's cooking for us until you're better, so…"

Xander sighed and acquiesced, taking the bowl Peri had been trying to give him for the last ten minutes and began to eat.

X x X

Peri cheered them on as their blades clashed. Laslow danced away, his chest heaving as he tried to avoid the strong blows Xander sent his way.

The two retainers had reluctantly agreed to let Xander out of bed once he had eaten, and Laslow offered a _friendly_ bout to make sure their liege was back to full strength.

He regretted the decision as his iron sword broke, leaving him defenseless to Siegfried against his neck.

"Were you going easy on me?"

"Never- you've gotten stronger milord."

"Hmm. Again?"

"Fight me instead Lord Xander!"

Laslow stood and winked, allowing Peri to take his place.

They didn't notice Leo's calculating stare behind them.

X x X

" _Where are they_?" Xander hissed, slamming a fist down on his desk. Odin and Niles had returned from their fight with Kamui, but both were silent on Leo's whereabouts despite Iago's threats. Kamui's army was likewise gone, and rumors that the Prince has defected were running rampant.

Laslow glanced at Peri helplessly, shrugging as Xander began to frantically shuffle his papers aside.

"Where are they… Where are they…" The prince repeated to himself as he pulled out the map they made months ago, grabbing a quill and tracing Kamui's movements, scowling as he hit the woods.

"My lord-"

" _No."_ Xander sat heavily, rubbing his brow in irritation. "We will simply have to wait- Peri, train with the berserkers. Laslow, stay. I… need to speak with you."

Peri pouted slightly but nodded, shooting a curious glance at her partner before slipping out of the door.

"...Stay with me tonight?"

Laslow paused before reaching out, touching his Prince's cheek gently.

"Of course."

X x X

The night was still, and Xander was quiet beside him. Laslow sat up, ignoring the pinpricks of pain from his hips and neck.

Xander barely roused as Laslow turned to him, gently running a hand through his liege's golden hair.

The prince looked younger now, his face smooth from sleep.

Laslow traced Xander's jawline before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. With a quiet grace he pulled away, standing from the bed and quietly pulling his clothes back on. He glanced back as he left the room, shaking his head with a sigh.

Love had no place in war, after all.

X x X

_There was silence. Silence and darkness all around him._

_Something warm landed on his cheeks, in his hair, soaking down into his clothes._

_He opened his eyes, and his mother stood before him, a sword through her chest and a betrayed look in her eyes._

_"You promised to be strong for me. For our home. You are **weak**."_

_Her body started changing, her pale skin turning mottled and bruised. He could only watch as his mother turned into the monsters he feared._

_With a sharp yank, she pulled the sword out of her chest, and aimed at him._

_"You **failed** us."_

_His mother's face blurred, and he found himself staring up at his liege's face as the blade pierced his heart._

X x X

Laslow woke with a start, breathing heavily. He curled up in his bed, tucking his head against his knees with a heavy sigh as he tried to calm his racing heart.

His nightmares had steadily gotten worse as the war escalated.

"Laslow!" He looked up as Selena crashed into his room, fully dressed and armed. She scowled at him, gesturing to the door.

"We are being _invaded_ get the fuck up you slacker!" The words processed after a moment, and a wave of sudden adrenaline he tried to stand, only to wobble and crash down onto the floor.

Hands helped him sit up, and Selena frowned as she pushed a vulnerary into his hands. "I need to go, but hurry and get to Prince Xander's side! Lady Elise has disappeared entirely and someone is in the underground tunnels."

She moved to stand but Laslow caught her wrist, swallowing nervously. "Sel- _Severa._ Be careful."

Selena hesitated before huffing, pulling him into a tight hug.

"You too. We still need _our_ prince back home Inigo." He laughed brokenly before pushing her away.

"Go, and kick their sorry asses."

X x X

He dressed carefully, pulling on his new shield and ignoring the axe at his feet.

Instead he reached up, pulling out the blade he hoped he wouldn't have to use.

The Falchion glistened in the faint candlelight.

X x X

Waiting was the worst part.

Odin had stopped by once, his eyes solemn and worried even as he expressed his usual bravado… Or tried, before he clasped his cousin's shoulder tightly.

Ignoring Peri's curious questions, he pulled Odin into a hug, drawing comfort from the mage.

"Promise me, Owain. Promise you'll live through whatever mess the next few hours hold."

"Only if you do the same, Inigo."

X x X

Xander was silent, standing off to the side with his eyes unfocused.

The only sign of unease was his tight grasp on Siegfried.

X x X

"Laslow… What do we do?" Lasow shook his head, his head spinning as he processed what they'd just been ordered.

" _We've fought valiantly together, and I will always cherish memories with you both."_

" _No! You're not allowed to leave this room, is that clear?"_

"Peri…" His mind raced before he took a deep breath, turning to his partner. "We need to help him. He can punish us all he wants I- I can't let him die."

Flashes of Lucina, of his mother, of his old friends-

"Let's do it. If they dare touch him I'll kill them all."

Laslow turned to her and kissed her cheek. "Gather the soldiers. We have work to do."

X x X

Princess Elise was dead. Xander was distraught.

Laslow took a deep breath, readying his sword as the sound of battle began. He looked across the hall, meeting Peri's eyes.

She forced a smile, and with a sense of dread, Laslow smiled back.

X x X

The castle was littered in bodies.

Laslow slumped against the wall, watching and unable to do anything as Hoshidan forces ran past him- towards Peri, towards _Xander_.

"Give up, and I'll leave you alone." A quiet voice spoke and he forced himself to look up, ignoring the ache in his body and the burn of an arrow digging in his side to meet Mozu's eyes. She still looked nervous, but she forced herself to stay on track, her shoulders stiff and her bow aimed his way.

Laslow didn't answer, instead pressing a hand to the wall as he slowly stood, grabbing his sword from the ground as he went.

"You all have lost! Why do you insist on fighting! Lady Corrin won't lose this fight-"

"Lord Xander has always been stronger than Corrin. He can't lose, not when _your_ people killed Princess Elise."

"Wai-"

She barely had time to dodge, yelping as his sword skimmed her side, shaving some fur on its way down.

He settled back, the Falchion singing under his hand before a yelp escaped him, a sharp blade cutting into his shoulder.

"Stay away from my mother!"

"Shiro no!"

"But-"

"Leave him. Laslow, consider my debt repaid." She nodded and turned away, her son following her- oh. He'd heard reports that Prince Ryouma had had a son whom was grown. He hadn't realized that his wife and future queen was the young farm girl he had spared months ago.

For a moment, he stood there, feeling blood roll down his shoulder before he forcibly shook his head.

His shoulder burned as he pressed a hand to the wall, staggering slightly as he allowed his weight to fully settle on his wounds. He could hear the swords clashing, the sound of arrows flying, of lifeless bodies hitting the ground.

His pace was slow as he limped towards the room Xander was in.

X x X

Peri's eyes were dull and glassy, her body limp and blood streaking her armor and clothes.

For a moment, Laslow wondered why that thought struck him as _wrong_.

There were strangers- Hoshidans- surrounding her, poking her with spears and swords, vicious scowls on their faces as they turned his beautiful bloodthirsty partner into a pincushion.

Laslow turned away, grief weighing down in his heart and relief blooming because he could see the arrow in her throat and knew someone took mercy on his friend's life.

X x X

Logically, he knew he was dying. What once was a small trip through the hallways turned into a painfully slow crawl. Every step sent a fresh wave of blood down his shoulder, his leg, his chest- exsanguination was a painful way to die.

But he had to make sure Xander was still alive.

If Naga was merciful, she would save his prince, he was sure of it.

X x X

"Laslow!" He heard the startled call, and saw the wave of reds and white turn to him. He ignored the other army, ignored them as they raised their lowered weapons until a Queen with white roses in her hair shouted them down.

He ignored the girl by Xander's side, falling to his knees next to his fallen king.

His sword clattered to the ground, and he closed his eyes and wept.

X x X

His mind was muddled.

A bright sun appeared overhead, and a familiar voice called out to him.

"...go! ...nigo! ...an't d...!"

He couldn't speak.

He felt something wet hit his face.

The sun was crying.

"...let go! ...ease! ...ome back!"

Let go?

Faces flashed in his mind, and one opened their arms wide, beckoning him home.

X x X

_Tell the world I'm coming home_

_Let the rain wash away_

_All the pain of yesterday_

_I know my kingdom awaits_

_And they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home_

_I'm coming home_

_Tell the world I'm coming home_

x X x

**Author's Note:**

> HMU @soleilofylisse


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